My Racist Roots Awaken

Without being said, I was surrounded by bigots growing up in the south during the early part of my childhood.  I’ve luckily managed to overcome my early developmental environment – thank you mom and dad for moving us to Michigan.  This morning, the aforementioned racial hatred from my youth was briefly rediscovered.

I entered the train station turnstile, saw a weird looking guy at the bottom of the “loop bound” staircase, had a strange feeling as I walked towards the stairs, was bumped by him after I ignored whatever he was shouting from a distance because I was listening to my iPod and purposely choose to ignore the less fortunate, pulled out my headphones, he crazily asked for directions, I told him he needed the other side of the tracks to go towards his destination, and then Chase called an hour later with a fraudulent charge alert.

There were 2 unsuccessful ATM withdrawals of $500, $200+ in gas purchased at Shell, and $130 of god knows what purchased at 7/11.  Don’t gas stations notice $200 fill ups since it had to be multiple cars?  Has anyone without the munchies/need for mass quantities of booze ever legally spent $130 at 7/11?

Regardless, the guy was the creepiest guy I’ve ever seen in my life.  30-40 years old, 6 foot 2, 275 pounds, huge afro, jaundice yellow eyes but guaranteed working WITHOUT an accomplice.  Being overly aware of my surroundings, I specifically looked around before taking out my headphones because it’s known that pickpockets work in teams. This guy was amazingly skilled enough to get my wallet on that initial bump. Put that on a resume.

For a moment, after I received the call from Chase and realized I didn’t have my wallet, I immediately turned slightly republican/racist.  After I settled down, I realized that I can’t wait until Barack gets into office and degenerates of all races have something to look up to – an African American that came from a broken family, who earned admission into Harvard, after graduation helped a broken community, and has risen to become our next president.  Maybe the wastes of space will feel inspired to become slightly less worthless.

Luckily, the only thing of importance I had in my new fcking (not cheap) leather wallet from Italy was a debit card, all of my ids, and social security card (woops).  Thankfully, I don’t have credit cards.

Since I take the train from this stop everyday and clearly remember his face, I will literally fcking beat him to a pulp at 8:15 am in the morning as need be.  I will not stop plummeting him until the police pull me off his hopefully dead body.

Off to call all the credit agencies, social security administration, etc.  Somebody bail me out if I see this piece of shiat at the train station over the next few months.

12 thoughts on “My Racist Roots Awaken

  1. Wow, it sucks when someone takes your identity like that. Just hope that you don’t get a letter in 2 years telling you that you owe CTA something like $1,400.

  2. holy sh*#! dude that is so not cool. dont know why you weren’t carrying credit cards but that’s good. booze, booze at the 7/11. yellow eyes = liver failure from the booze. if you see him again, try not to let him recognize you (he will probably bolt) and call the police instead. although, they won’t do sh#$ cause they don’t have time for fraud cases (from experience). he could be weilding a weapon / knife and crack heads dont feel pain when tripping. not a can you want to try to open. police don’t even like opening that kind of can. ss card in your wallet? that’s how i know you WERE adopted.

  3. I’m just wondering how he got that enormous green italian leather wallet out of your pocket. Serious, it was huge, not thick like a George Costanza wallet, huge like a small photo album huge. Seriously, it had to be 4×6″. Tough break man, he didn’t fondle your junk did he?

  4. It’s now past 24 hours, can we joke about it?

    As we said before, i think you liked a man putting his hands down your pants…

  5. Yea right a street bum will all of a sudden discover his self worth because BO BO gets elected. Take a fcking breath, dude
    1. You take out the goddam earplugs/IPOD, you live in Chicago and you so goddam NAIVE. You look directly at every mother fcker with the look that I Kill anyone that fcks with me.
    2. Keep your hand on your knife total length of blade 5″, if some one bumps you stick em. It will slow them down.

    You live in a goddam jungle cesspool, acknowledge it and live by it’s rules.

    Uncle Bill (cong killer)

  6. Multitasking in the morning has finally – after 6 years – caught up with me in this giant cesspool of place called Chicago. I hope he had fun buying $200 worth of gas and $130 worth of ? from 7/11. I had fun getting like 300 hits to this blog posting so it’s all good.

  7. The fact that you let another man stick his hand down your front pocket grab your wallet while tickling your sack unnoticed makes me believe your are a dumbass republican.

  8. “Z” is mistaken…I don’t believe you intended to have your wallet stolen, and in fact you seem at peace with it…this is a good example of what is to come if Obama is elected…taking from you, who made the money that was in the wallet, and giving it to those who choose not to work, the scum of Chicago.

    Mass Emailer is DEFINITELY NOT a republican; allowing a ‘terd’ of society to take what you worked for is a Liberal concept… Your Liberal Status is VERY safe my friend…this helps ‘level’ the playing field, right?

    Uncle Bill is right about carrying protection: might I suggest a Glock for the next time, in case you catch the perp?…I’ll offer free shooting lessons to you my friend.

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