The following breakdown is common knowledge, but, I need to vent. There are only 3 types of republican supporter. God forbid you’re a republican – which type are you?

1) The Racist. Also known as the inbred. This supporter forgets that our country is known as the melting pot. They are still stuck in either the late 1700s and/or modern day communities in the deep south/plain states. They can’t grasp that the civil war/slavery ended a long time ago. There’s probably a confederate flag, gun, and/or cross ready to burn lying around the house. They definitely lock the car door when driving even 45 mph past a person of color. You will never find them on public transportation – especially, a bus. Fortunately, these votes don’t really matter given their geographic location.

2) The Religious. Also known as sarah palin. Creepy as hell and VERY gullible. In sarah’s case, they belong to a church that speaks in tongues, prays for pipelines, and believes that the Iraq war is a holy war – a.k.a. jihad. Unfortunately, their votes matter because religious people show up in masses and aren’t solely found in south/plain states. W.W.J.D.? I can guarantee you he wouldn’t vote for a republican. They need to wake up since no matter how they vote, Roe vs. Wade isn’t getting overturned. If it miraculously does get overturned within the next 20 years – unlikely – women will still go to New York, California, Illinois, or 20 other states to have an abortion. They are getting played HARDCORE by the 3rd type – the Rich.

3) The Rich. Also known as the mccain family. They successfully recruit the religious vote by insinuating that god will have you burn in hell if you don’t try to overturn Roe vs. Wade. But, I’ll give credit when credit is due – you smart bastards. Rich as hell. Top 10% or so of all money earned. The only ones truly “impacted” by a Democratic president. They are sort of annoyed that they have to act like they agree with the religious, but, the rich are too small of a cross section to influence an election so a person has to do what a person has to do. Bright, cunning, elitist, and soulless enough to further misinform the other two types of republicans that a Democrat will tax you. When Democratic opponents point out the fact that only those making over $250,000 could see an increase in taxes, the rich look the other way and hope nobody catches on. They also love to say a big government is bad as they take a daily swim or two in their stockpile of money.

Bottom line: The rich are rich for a reason – fast talking, intelligent, and willing to sell their soul to the devil. They literally own the republican party. The religious are the puppies but most impactful group of voters – doing what they’re told by the rich because they’re afraid of something (god) they hope exists. The racist are living in a fairy tale world and plotting how they can form a coalition of muzzleloaders and secede.

Ah, that felt good. Back to work – great lunch break!

We’re only as competent as the political leaders we elect.